Will You Catch Me If I Fall?
by LadyMarauderette
Summary: He did not know what the letter contained, but he was angry at it for causing her immense sadness. Watching Lily Evans cry tore at the muscle in his chest, which beat only for her. All he wanted to do was stop her from crying, let her know that he cared.


**Catch Me If I Fall.**

_Pick me up now, because I need you so bad._

He stood from afar, watching her cry, clutching a letter tightly in her graceful hand. He did not know what the letter contained, but he was still angry at it for causing her immense sadness. Watching Lily Evans cry tore at the muscle in his chest, which beat only for her.

She was leaning against the wall of the abandoned greenhouse; he hadn't meant to follow her out there. He had merely been carrying his broomstick towards the Quidditch pitch, where he had planned to join his friends in a competitive game. It was then he had glanced over to the Owlery, a flash of red had caught his eye as he noticed the girl of his dreams sob out of the Owlery, running like there was no tomorrow. His feet ran on their own accord, every part of his body was itching to know what had made Lily Evans so upset, to comfort her, to make her know that she wasn't alone.

As he watched her lean against the rugged wall, his heart ached; he wished it were him that she was leaning against instead. All he wanted to do was stop her from crying, let her know that he cared, that she wasn't truly alone in her pain. Since the first time he had seen her on the train, Lily Evans, with her fiery red hair and laughing green eyes, her kindness and fairness towards all, including Slytherins, had opened his heart to a new emotion: love. But somehow, he could never say the right words to her, she ended up being rather severely annoyed or dangerously angry at what he had said or done to try and make her laugh. That is all he had wanted to see, to see her laugh, for that was when she was most beautiful.

As the years had passed, he had never understood why she hated him so much, or at least, acted like she hated him so much. When he would stick up for her, somehow it would come out that she was the villain, if he tried to talk to her, she would think up an excuse to leave. Anything that he had done to make the girls like him had an opposite effect on her. It had taken him six years to realise his mistake: she wasn't like any of the other girls.

She was perfect.

_Everything she ever wanted, she found in him._

Perhaps she didn't want a guy who never showed his serious side, who made a joke over everything and was constantly teasing people. He _was_ an arrogant show-off, but he didn't try to be one in front of her, it was something that just happened, as if something that wasn't entirely him had taken over his mind.

Right now, standing there, it was just him, purely and entirely him. He knew what he had to do, the voice in his head that told him to do the wrong things had hushed, sitting and watching him as if part of an audience. He wasn't to act like a prat, make fun of her for being 'such a girl'. She needed someone, and that person was going to be him. He had the answer, he wanted Lily to see him, not as the self-centred prankster that he so normally was, but as the James that was only exposed to his closest friends, someone who cared, loved and was deeply loyal.

Slowly at first, but then with growing energy, he walked across the lawn and scattered flowerpots, down to where Lily stood, tears still running down her cheeks.

Admittedly, he wanted to kiss all of her tears away, although he would never tell a living soul this. It was at that point, he promised himself that he would never ever let any harm come to her, even if she did tell him to go away.

She didn't notice his presence; she was too engrossed in her own thoughts.

'Lily?' he asked, his voice quiet. 'Are you alright?'

At the sound of his voice she turned, her green eyes flashing with tiredness and hurt, as if she couldn't take anymore.

'Potter,' she said in a hushed voice. 'Please just leave me alone! For the last time…'

He stepped back, taken aback by the quietness of her voice, the sudden outburst,

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-' he started, but she cut him off.

'Of course you did! You always mean to come around for some reason or the other. Isn't it possible that for just one moment you could leave me alone? All you do is follow me around everywhere, asking me if I want to go out with you. Take a hint, I want you to _leave me alone_!'

He swallowed, trying not to notice how it had felt as if a knife had been driven through him, he tried to think how it was best to deal with this situation. He refused to let this be the end, to leave her wallowing in her tears, upset and broken.

'I was just trying to see what was wrong, cant a person who sees you crying ask that? Honestly Lily, I'm not a monster. I just wanted to know if I could help you,' he said, praying to God that what he had said was, for once, just this once, the right thing to say.

'No one can help me now James,' she said, her voice beginning to shake with an onslaught of more tears. 'Please, just leave.'

_When the world shatters, will you hold my hand?_

He stepped back, almost prepared to leave her then and there. It felt obvious that he was only making things worse. It seemed that all they could do was yell and be angry at each other. Did he want that sort of relationship? Was this true love? Before he could walk away, their eyes met and she turned around, it was then that all of her perfection washed away. He no longer saw her as that perfect girl, who seemed to get everything right, but the real Lily Evans, who at the end of the day was not perfect, but completely human, just like him.

It was that moment that he felt what true love really was, suddenly the thing he wanted most wasn't to be with her, but to see her happy, for that would be enough to live with.

Hesitantly, he reached out his hand and gently placed it on her shoulder. She had turned away, thinking that he had left, but he didn't have it in his heart to leave her like this, it was now or never to show that he truly cared. When she felt his hand on her shoulder, she began to cry again, and James felt dread wash over him, he was about to pull away when she turned around and placed her letter into his hand.

'Read,' she stammered. 'Read it and see what's wrong with me.'

He at first looked at her with shock but then he nodded, he took the letter and opened it carefully, the parchment was heavily crinkled. Possibly lily had crumpled it into a ball several times, wet blotches, probably her tears, marred some of the words, which were written in a flowing and professional manner.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_It is with great regret that I inform you that your parents have passed away. They were found in their home, your current address, last night, both dead with what appeared to be the killing curse, which I'm sure you have heard of. Your sister was not there at the time, and when found was distraught and refused to speak to any Ministry representatives._

_This was possibly the work of the Dark Wizard He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, who has been killing muggles and muggle borns in the past months at an alarming rate. I must warn you not to leave Hogwarts till the end of the year, as you may very much be in danger. Professor Dumbledore has been informed of these circumstances, and arrangements to your parent's funeral shall be made shortly._

_I am deeply sorry for your loss, please accept my condolences._

_Sincerely,_

… but the name was blotted in tears; she had obviously begun crying before she reached the end of the letter.

James, who had never met her parents, felt a lump rise in his throat. How could Voldemort have done this? How could he kill innocent people, due to the mere point of their bloodlines? He failed to see any logic, or any point to Voldemort's beliefs. Death was something that came to everyone, but why was Voldemort playing God? Deciding who was to die when?

_And if I fall, will you catch me?_

When James looked up from the letter, he found Lily staring at him, waiting for his response. He swallowed, trying to build up the courage to say something right, but what could he say to this tragedy?

I'm sorry for your loss? Fat chance that would help. It never did, he knew that, he had experience. He couldn't change the fact that her parents had died, but he could possibly fill the hole in her heart, and be a shoulder to cry on.

'I know that the last thing you want is sympathy, and I know people don't mean it when they say they know how you feel. But take it from someone who's parents don't exist anymore, it will get better,' began James. Instinct had taken over, it didn't feel like he was talking anymore, all he knew was this was what he was supposed to say.

'How do you know that James?' asked Lily.

'I do, because it did for me. I know that the words 'move on' make you ache in places you didn't even know you have, but you will move on Lily,' he said, and he lifted her chin up so he was looking right into her bright green eyes. 'You're a strong person Lily, stronger than anyone I have ever met before, and not everyone can see that. When my parents died… it felt like I wasn't going to live again, like my whole world had collapsed. But then I had people to help me get through it all.'

'What if you don't have anyone?' whispered Lily.

James wrapped his arms around her, and she placed her head on his chest, tears quietly rolling down her face.

'You'll have _me_ Lily, though it might not count for much,' he murmured into her hair. 'Always.'

And it was just the two of them, leaning against each other, for right now it didn't matter that a while ago it felt like there was no one else to turn to, right now Lily knew she had found something people spent a lifetime to search for.

'I'll always catch you,' thought James to himself.


End file.
